Our social nights go from strength to strength! A full house was treated last night to an raucous evening of laughter and song delivered by Merthyr born comedian Owen Money (“You know Merthyr – a small town next to Asda”). Fabulous dance music was superbly presented by his accompanying band, The Soul Sharks.
“I was last in Caldicot 25 years ago and you said then you’d invite me back. ‘Ow the ‘ell do you find this place? And where do you park?”
“The largest sauna I’ve ever played in” and the “Last time I saw curtains like that, reminds me of the last time I saw my Uncle George” was how Owen somewhat unfairly but humourously, described the Choir Hall before opening with an hilarious description of his home town, describing the Gurnos estate and its new airport in Merthyr (“So you live on an estate? asked Prince Philip. How’s the shooting?”) and a sponsored mountain walk up ‘Kill a man for his giro’. This was followed up by a caustic comparison of South Wales local accents; Newport -“Let’s Fight!”. Carmarthen – starts off fast then slows down…………..
Owen now lives in Porthcawl where he warned “Don’t fall down in the winter in Porthcawl, there’s no-one there young enough to pick you up” and smoothly moved on to comments about the ‘Woodentop’ English Rugby team management, followed by a reminisce of ‘The Flowerpot’ men and their relationship with ‘Weed’ and the drug problem in Merthyr (“I’ve never had any problem”). On then to the conviction that Martians have invaded and are disguised as traffic cones mating in the Brynglas tunnels, causing traffic chaos as part of the plan to rule the earth.
After warning the photographer (me) not to take any more photos of us or “You’ll be going through the window. It’s a question of security – Social Security!” he moved on to stories of past romantic encounters:”What’s that noise?” “It’s my ‘usband” – “You never said you was married!” “You didn’t ask!” “Where’s yewer back door?” “We ‘aven’t got one” “Where’d you want one!” – ” How big’s your ‘usband?” “He’s six foot six and is a black belt in karate in his spare time.” “How much spare time has he got?” ” Well he works in Llanwern steelworks!” He was out of the window and down the drain pipe like a shot, naked – before overtaking two joggers. “Why are you wearing a condom?” “Rainin’ when I left the ‘ouse.”
“When I die I want to look dead, like ‘e do over there! I don’t want to die of a salad overdose!” was his observation on dying before turning off his mate’s life support machine instead of the television. Moving on to the demise of Saddam Hussein, Osama Bin Laden and Colonel Gaddafi “There ‘s only more more to get rid of – Jeremy Kyle”. When one of the audience said “He’s fab”, Owen responded with ” Move over by the wall, luv. That’s plastered as well”. The progression through jokes about Gypsies in Dale Farm, Gypsy weddings (tarmaccing as they went along) and how he had 8 bed wetting sisters and didn’t know what it was like to sleep on his own until he got married was met with continuous eye-watering laughter. ” I could swim before I was two! I told my Mam I wanted to sleep down the shallow end.”
Then finishing with his ‘true’ story of Andy Powell and the Golf buggy incident down the M4 after the Scotland match two years ago – Police warned him “Don’t blame it on the sunshine, don’t blame it on the moonlight, don’t blame it on the good times. Blame it on the Buggy!”
During the interval, the Annual Draw was made by our President, Mr Richard Evans, ably assisted by Bass chorister John Jones.
Winning tickets and names are:
1st Prize: £500 No. 0410 P. Chapman
2nd Prize £100 No. 1969 D. Taylor
3rd Prize: £50 No. 0603 C. Evans
The audience was then treated to more than an hour of a fabulous dance mix of swing, pop and rock music superbly played and sung by the Soul Sharks and once again everyone left tired but enthusing about a wonderful night’s entertainment.
Our next Social Event will be the New Year’s Party with Musicians in Black. Book your tickets early through Bob Doggett.
Photos by Lyn